Saltash stroke survivor Jo backs Christmas appeal for Stroke Association

A stroke survivor from Saltash has told how her twin daughters rallied round to save Christmas after a stroke left her unable to walk, eat or look after herself. 

Jo Smith was a fitness-loving independent mum and finance assistant, but her life changed in an instant when she had a stroke last year aged 51.

She’s sharing her story to support the Stroke Association’s Christmas fundraising campaign after the charity helped her during her recovery. 

“My first Christmas after the stroke was a very different Christmas. It was tough to begin with,” said Jo, whose daughters were aged 21 when she had her stroke.

“I loved everything about Christmas, especially shopping and going to the Christmas markets. I was always the person who organised everything and did everything for Christmas. I would put all the decorations up, inside and out. I went shopping for food and made Christmas dinner. 

“But that year, I couldn't wrap the presents with only one hand.  So, we bought gift bags instead of wrapping paper.  As I was not working and had less money, we bought and gave a lot less presents than normal, too. I also couldn’t visit any of the markets because, after the stroke, I now have anxiety around lots of people. 

“I couldn’t socialise or go out, and I always used to enjoy all the Christmas parties. I didn’t want to have decorations or a Christmas dinner. I wanted to shut myself off from it. I found the hardest thing was not doing things myself, having to rely on others, and accept help. 

“At the beginning, I was quite stubborn. But that Christmas, it was actually nice because I couldn’t do it all so my daughters and I came together, talked about who was going to do what and shared out the tasks.

“My daughter Alicia made the Christmas dinner, which was really strange for me, but she did an amazing job considering last Christmas she couldn’t even cook! My other daughter Danielle did all the Christmas food shopping and the decorations. 

“Last Christmas I felt like a spectator but this Christmas, I am hopeful that I’ll be able to join in with more of the preparations. I do a bit of cooking now, so Alicia will probably still lead, but I can help.  We will continue to do less presents because our financial situation hasn’t changed very much. When you have a stroke, you become a new version of you. So, Christmas has to be a new version of Christmas too.” 

On top of the physical changes, Jo is also learning to live with the hidden effects of stroke including controlling her emotions, problems with peripheral vision, and difficulties thinking and remembering things. 

With support from friends and family, NHS rehabilitation services and the Stroke Association’s Cornwall emotional support service, Jo made remarkable progress.

Following a visit from her community occupational therapist and who recognised her negative feelings, Jo was referred to the Stroke Association’s Cornwall Emotional Support service for counselling support in spring 2024.

Jo said: “My counsellor, Manu, was amazing. She gave me the emotional support that I needed at that time. She gave me immediate strategies for dealing with my frustration and arguments, like taking myself away from the situation instead of spiraling. 

“Manu has helped me find ways to cope with my ‘new normal’ and feel like my old self again. Before the stroke, I always had a morning shower, dressed smartly, and did my hair and make-up. I remember saying to her, there’s no point now because I just sit on the sofa. Manu encouraged me to do whatever made me feel good. Now I have a little morning routine, and I love how it sets me up for the day. 

“I was also getting fatigued really easily, and I cried more when I was tired. So, Manu suggested blocking out time for rest in my daily planner, so it was something I had to do every day. This helped me so much because I like lists and ticking things off, so it felt like I had achieved something rather than wasting time resting. She also suggested that I begin writing in my diary again. This helped me get the difficult things off my chest and realise how far I have come.”

The Stroke Association has released a short film, ‘Still Christmas’

It features home videos and photos shared by stroke survivors and their families, taken at Christmas time after their stroke. The film depicts the reality of facing Christmas after the impact of a stroke and how different this time of year can be for survivors and their families. It goes live on 19 November. 

Jacquie Cuthbert, the Stroke Association’s associate director for the South West, said said: “For another 85,000 people in the UK, this year will be their first Christmas after a stroke, and those things we all take for granted are no longer the same. A stroke can have physical and cognitive impacts, as well as emotional trauma, with survivors facing a long journey to relearn lost skills and adapt to new circumstances. 

“We’re encouraging everyone to give the gift of stroke support this Christmas, whether as a donation, volunteering your time or fundraising, so that we can help more survivors and their loved ones find their strength and their way back to life after a stroke.” 

Give the gift of stroke support this Christmas – visit stroke.org.uk/stillchristmas